Christmas Countdown #5 - Less is More

Isn't it funny how you get busy with things during the holiday season and soon notice that you are missing entire days in your mind?  (Maybe this is just a symptom of my advanced age -- if you are under 40 and feel this way how about commenting so I won't feel alone :))

I'm missing Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday from last week - well, not really, but it feels like they went missing on my schedule.

However, the very processing of "losing" the days has made me stop and focus on being more intentional in how I spend my limited time this month.  Too often in the past, especially when my children were little, I became caught up in the rush of events - many of which meant very little to me in the long run -- and ended up sacrificing quality time with my family.   Consider this your warning -- there are a lot of things you will remember about Christmas with your young children when you are my age and very little of it will involve parties at church or otherwise, marathon shopping expeditions, perfect dishes loading the table and a perfectly decorated house.

Less really is more - sometimes

To begin with, it is best not to set your expectations about everything too high during December.     Less is sometimes a great deal more in terms of expectations.   I've learned that my greatest disappointments generally stem from unrealistic expectations.
 
If something is really important to you, pick that one thing for your high expectations and work towards that while letting some other things slide.

I have lowered my expectations of decorating a great deal over the years.   While I would like a perfectly outfitted mantle and door, candles in my windows etc., having two weddings in three years, very close to the holidays, taught me that I really can live without having my house look like a spread in Martha Stewart or the Christmas Shop at Myrtle Beach.  Especially since achieving the "look" involves nagging and directing other persons, not to mention having to reverse the process on Dec. 30. 

This year after the grown children helped decorate the tree and then left for their own homes, I was exhausted and didn't feel like getting all the other stuff out.  In fact, I was feeling a bit depressed since one couple won't be back at all for the Christmas holiday.   On the verge of becoming a very big grump, I declared I would not put out the Snow Village I usually take so much joy in because every piece is connected to a particular memory.   Putting it ALL about involves emptying some bookshelves and negotiating some tight spaces with extension cords and I just wasn't up to it this year.  I could have waited and labored through the decorating later in the week, but that would mean having the boxes stacked on my porch for a week since my husband wasn't going to have time to make multiple trips retrieving them and replacing them from storage.  No, I wanted all the decorating finished and the storage containers hidden that very weekend.

My daughter acted as if I had decided to skip Christmas entirely (have you seen the movie Skipping Christmas? - I really was feeling a little like that).  Apparently this is important to her and in that case a compromise needed to be achieved.


She offered to put some out while  I took a nap.
For the record, this is Dept 56 Snow Village themed on the 1940's and 50s -- possibly the 60's. The characters etc remind me very much of my childhood and my husband and I have had many opportunities to share those memories as we set up the scenes each year.

I can tell what memories she's connecting to.

The woodcutter above were a gift from my son's the year a hurricane dropped 18 trees in our yard.  They cut a LOT of wood that year.


While we haven't done this since my son graduated from college, going to the mountains and cutting our own tree is a very fond memory for her.   This cabin is my husband's dream house and I got this particular piece for his birthday one year.  The Nick looks exactly like my deceased father.

 This is really a scene from my own childhood, but I think my children have heard the story so often it has now become their own.

Each year at our church, we did almost the same children's program.  The older kids wore those generic white robes with big red bows and walked in carrying candles and singing Oh Come All Ye Faithful.  I'm not sure how we accomplished that without burning the hair of the other children, but we did it.  Other children and adults made a manger scene.

 This is our family walking in the woods and
sighting wildlife.


 









We also put up the Nativities and heirloom ceramic lighted Christmas trees  -- what can I tell you, I love the 50's!  This is one my husband's great-aunt made.









This is just one of our Nativity sets.  Its one we made as a family many years ago out of scrap wood.   It was just perfect when we had a baby in the house because you didn't have to say "don't touch"!

We actually have quite a tradition of doing special family crafts during the holiday season.  For some reason I don't mind the mess and the bother during an already too busy month.  I'll post more about that later I suppose.




In my own walk down memory lane here I've strayed pretty far from the original intent of this post, which was to encourage you to not set such high expectations of your decorating.   However, in thinking about what decorations are most meaningful to us, I'm also reminded of what activities are meaning to us in terms of family and spending time together.  
 
I suppose a good moral of the post would be to choose decorations that are meaningful and bring  you joy; but only go so far with it as you can go without becoming a grump or making your family miserable in one way or another.   

You don't have to put out everything in every year.  My children delighted in reminding me of the couple of times we just never got around to putting up a tree at all during Christmas - apparently failure can sometimes be a good memory.  

You'll save yourself a lot of trouble if you make your decorations childproof -- or put them on the mantle!   If all else fails remember that mishaps may happen.  The man pulling a tree actually has a glued on arm because one of the boys pulled it too hard while trying to "help" me one year.   That too is a cherished memory now.  



Tomorrow I'll talk about realistic expectations with your schedule and energy during this season (in which I'll be "preaching to the choir" so to speak!