A First for Us

We've had a firm tradition in our family, enforced in the move loving way, that Christmas could not be acknowledged in our house until Dec 1st.  Certainly not at all until the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

No carols - no Bing Crosby - No Nat King Cole - No Handel!

No decorations!

Absolutely no egg nog!



My husband's birthday is the second week of December so I made it a point to buy our tree around that date and we had a birthday/ tree decorating event.  Two weeks of a big ole tree in small house was plenty.   I also didn't want our decorations to become "old", as in common place.


The kids grow up and times change.  I'm finding the most valuable trait a mom can cultivate is flexibility. 

My oldest two are married;  one couple lives close to us, but the other couple lives almost 5 hours away.   Their work and church schedules make it hard for them to come "home" for the holidays.   These changes in family dynamics and traditions can be difficult adjustments.   This year my oldest, married last February, asked to take custody of some of his "special" holiday decorations.  I was OK with him taking everything but his stocking -- sorry.   "I love you son, but the reindeer stocking stays on my mantle for another decade or so." 

When your children are young, it is hard to imagine this day will come.  But it will.

Here is a post by Suzanne Eller that spoke to my heart about the holiday season and the importance of establishing and someday being willing to change family traditions.    When I read the post, I felt like Suzanne and I were in parallel lives.   Her story expresses where I have been and where I am today as a mom.      Click here to read Suzanne's post.


The post arrived in my mailbox on a day it would really encouragement me.   My distant son and wife were home this weekend and for the first time in several years, all three of my children (and two spouses) were with us at both of the grandparent's dinners.  

Then all three of my children returned to our home and threw an early birthday party for my husband.  It was such a fun and relaxing day!  The three of them planned the whole thing!  The reason for this I learned, is that the distant couple will not be here at all for Christmas -- not early, not late, not at all.

My daughter had insisted we go ahead and buy a tree and put it up that night after the dinner.   It wasn't until my husband opened his birthday present that I understood why!   The three of them had been searching for years to find a special ornament to a complete a set we had started early in our marriage.  We're not big collectors, but this particular set of ornaments was special to my husband and every year I think he has mentioned nostalgically how much he wished he had the first ornament in the series too.

I was totally in the dark and unprepared to catch his face when he realized they had searched out and purchased this particular ornament with a pair of cardinals!   That's also why they wanted the tree up!



It was a great evening!   The end result is that a major family tradition was enhanced at a time a major tradition is changed.

Here it is, still November and we have a tree in the living room which was decorated by all of us together for the first time in several years.   Hanging on that tree is a very special ornament to remind me that the best part of family is that while the traditions may change over the years,  the underpinning love remains and sustains our identity.